Recount about Caving

WALT: Entertain

Success Criteria use language fetures

Time has come. Here is our last activity, one of the scariest.  Here's the gear we need; a torch, a water proof raincoat, a long pair of pants and especially a helmet. I've locked the instructions in my head.  Here I go into the big spooky hole in the ground. Is the hole going to swallow me? Ow I just hit my head, that hurt, feels like.... It's as dark as the night sky. I'm going with my group, this put my mind at ease. We walked across water that had crayfish in there. We saw Big  crayfish and some little crayfish where.... There were rocks big and small with GIGANTIC WETAS!!!  

Then we had to get on our tummy's. We were like snails and slugs. 

  Our tummy's got soaked.  Then we came back out the entrance.by We did a loop. I slipped a few times on big rocks. We used our torches that time now it's time for the challenge...  

No adults

But we were aloud our torches, that's lucky. Oh no!!!  We got to go with someone, I chose Thomas.  Back through we go. Now were on our tummy's again. The hardest part on our tummy's is turning, now that's difficult. My buddy Thomas's coat got stuck under a rock I had to lift the rock up.  (I SAVED HIS LIFE) We got back out, then we had to go back and save 3 girls from the grizzly cave. That was UNEXPECTED but fun.  Back to camp, wet, dirty an soaked. 

Reflection:

I added a lot of detail

I reckon I could of added more language features