Writing Sample

Purpose: To share our experiences about a time we felt nervous, exhausted or angry.

WALT: Entertain (recount)

Task: To write a recount based on an experience.

Criteria: I can Self Assessment

Peer Comment

Add detail  (use the senses that help to SHOW the reader) Descriptive vocabulary (words that help to SHOW the reader) use a range of challenging verbs use the hot words: boiling, sizzling, searing etc., 👌 Language features (phrases that help paint a picture) select one or two similes select one or two metaphors or personification use onomatopoeia to show sounds select words that start with the same sound (alliteration) 👍

Name: Overall, how well do you think your learning partner has done? Comment: nice story jaiden I like how I could picture it in my head you on the field playing soccer #Thomas

Writing Sample

Nervously I walked on the pitch. My tummy was beating as we were down 1-0. My head was dripping, drip, drop, drip, drop with hot sweat. The whistle blew. Anger bubbled inside me. The ball came towards me like a cheetah. I saw the trophies on the sideline panting to come. I heard my dad shriek "Watch the game." I passed the ball anxiously to my teammate he passed it back. Then I took a tremendous solid shot and it went powerfully straight into the back of the net. We were fighting back into the game. Excitement and exhaustment ran the my blood. Then we got another two goals. I asked the referee how long to go "1 min" replied the referee. 1 minute later the fierce whistle blew. The trophy was coming to me like a snail, slowly. I held up the trophy with relief. The trophy was free. 

Verbs

Adverbs

Metaphors

Personification

(giving non-living objects life-like qualities)

Danced

Walked

Waited

Talked

Acted

Played

Shook

Dressed

Listened

Sung

Rehearsed

Waved

Moved

Performed

Screamed

Grooved

Exhausted

Appeared

Fiddled

Strolled

Scattered

Swayed

Concentrated

Dashed

Shone

Announced

Tip-toed

Gazed

Embraced

Beamed

Wiggled

Exlaimed

Smoothly

Frantically

Joyfully

Swiftly

Nervously

IMPATIENTLY

Anxiously

Enthusiastically

The light was  the sun.

Parade of music.

Changing room was a rocket ship.

Curtain was a slow snail.

Darkness swallowed us up.

A storm of applause.

...laughing at us.