Naughty Story

“Naughty”

Purpose: To share our experiences about a time we did something naughty or you saw someone do something naughty.

WALT: Entertain (recount)

Task: To write a recount based on an experience.

Criteria: I can Self Assessment

Peer Comment

Add detail  (use the senses that help to SHOW the reader) See, Hear, Smell, Touch, Taste, Think, Do, Feel, Say Descriptive vocabulary (words that help to SHOW the reader) use a range of challenging verbs, Language features (phrases that help paint a picture) select one or two similes select one or two metaphors or personification use onomatopoeia to show sounds select words that start with the same sound (alliteration)

Name: Grace C Overall, how well do you think your learning partner has done? Comment: I really like the words you have used in your writing like glanced and gulped. I also really like how you have used an emoji to show how you were feeling at that time. I also think you were very descriptive so your readers could image the scene. Great Work Jaiden! See, Hear, Smell, Touch, Taste, Think, Do, Feel, Say Simile, Metaphor, Personification

Naughty story

WARNING: Do not use this as advice

I saw the ball fly through the air like an eagle. OH NO!!! "This is bad" I said. When I say bad I mean really bad. I thought again. Yep. Smash, Boom. I saw the ball go straight through the window. Damn!!! The ball went through the window like a lion catching his prey. I glanced at the smashed window.

         Then I saw Hillary (Thomas's Mum) "WHO DID THIS" she screeched, Thomas (My Friend) Yelled "Jaiden!" I screamed "What no." But before I could say we were both sent inside. "INSIDE" I heard Hilary yell.

       Next I saw the brush. I gulped. I felt like a bad boy. "You blamed it on me you idiot." I said. "Well what else was I meant to do."  "Tell the truth!!!" I screeched. Oops, did I just say that out loud. "SSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!" I heard Shouted Hillary. I screamed like a baby getting a smack. I felt like I was getting"Oops sorry" I said. I got handed the brush. I started sweeping up while my tummy was gurgling. Mum heard what had happened. "GROUNDED" She said, Oh No. I felt bad for the rest of the week.😔